Seriously, detention is officially the most pointless form of punishment. I mean really, the first thing they tell you when you walk in is, “don’t read, don’t draw, no music and no talking.” The only activity that leaves us is to sit there and stare at a wall, which, as productive as that sounds, probably ends up killing more brain cells than you can count. If the people in here are already considered delinquents, why make them stupider; as opposed to letting them read or study, you prefer to make them more simple, which will just end them up back here, taking another of your afternoons, teachers! Aren’t you just digging yourself your own grave with this? I didn’t even, really, do anything terribly wrong, yet I’m sitting here, in an empty classroom with nothing but chairs for company, staring at mister Metternich for so long that I think I am subconsciously counting his nose hairs. Some are really long and grey… Okay, I have to stop this! At least what I did was worth it, not like a cell phone going off or bad mouthing the teacher. Amber Metternich is one of the coolest girls in the class: she has amazing blonde hair, big brown eyes, and, sure, she wears a bit of makeup, but come on, which girls don’t? Anyway, being the teacher’s daughter, she doesn’t look at a lot of guys, so you have to make her want you. So, when Metternich assigned the class to write something about Marie Antoinette, I figured it was a perfect opportunity. So the next day I actually volunteered to present first, which was when Metternich first started getting suspicious. Before I could take it back, he pressed the play button on my video. The entire class had the pleasure to witness me strumming on on the guitar and singing a self written song that, in actuality, had nothing to do with Marie Antoinette. If I can say nothing else, I can say I looked good, hair swooped to the side with a blue Ralph Lauren polo shirt and black jeans. The song was a little bit like a parody of What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction.

So there’s a queen
Who’s really mean
Living high while the people have nothing
But we got told
To write about her
But I think someone deserves a song first
Everyone on the planet hates Marie
But there’s someone here who’s way more cool

I’d rather wright a song
For a different girl
One who’s smart and funny
A real partier
Someone who’s sitting in the room right now
So, A-Amber
You should know you’re awesome
A- Amber!
I think you really deserve this song

And before it moved on to actually say a little about the Queen of France, Metternich stopped it with a face more red than a solo cup! I swore sparks were going to fly from his grinding teeth. Meanwhile Amber is sitting there with her head in her hands and bobbing up and down. I really didn’t think it would embarrass her, but I guess in hindsight she’s a really shy person, so singing about her in front of the entire class might not have been the way to go. That Say Anything moment is what landed me in detention, and her dad has been giving me the stink eye for the past hour.

When I finally got to leave, I stopped by the teachers lounge to get a soda, and there was Amber. Sitting in the teachers lounge with her hair in a messy bun on top of her head and a really oversized sweatshirt. Man, she is truly awesome. She looked up at me and I could swear that violins are playing somewhere when she looks up and me and smiles, “Hey.” So was that really worth it, sitting in detention for 3 hours, being locked in a room with her father and the most unproductive punishment established by school systems? Yes! It turns out she thought that was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her, and the bravest. She gave me her number and we’ve been happily texting all night. Then, I woke up to the sound of a heavy book on a table and Metternich saying “Detention’s over Casanova.”